Truth be told, I have been in enough ratty gas station restrooms over the years only to discover (too late) that there is NO DAMN toilet paper ...definitely NOT funny.
Still, upon reading Justin Mattingly's report in today's Richmond Times-Dispatch story, I could not hold back laughing out loud. Once my laughter subsided, I decided to get serious about RPS' alleged toilet paper shortage of 2018 and submitted the following Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.
Mrs. Wilson, Mr. Kamras:
Could you please provide me the following information:
- The number of rolls of toilet paper purchased by RPS for the past three years broken down by fiscal year;
- The cost of said toilet paper for past three fiscal years;
- Department responsible for purchasing toilet paper;
- Department responsible for distribution of said toilet paper.
- The amount and costs of hand soap purchased for the same time period as stated above;
- The number of paper hand towels for the same time period as stated above.
- Average cost to repair a toilet and pipes that have had whole rolls of toilet paper jammed in the toilet;
- Estimate of how many toilets that have had to be replaced;
- Estimate of costs to repair/replace floor damage due to overflowing toilets for past three years;
- Number of and costs of replacing broken soap dispenser units in bathrooms.
And lastly, any email correspondence informing and/or apologizing to principals and central administrators concerning an impending shortage of toilet paper.